Barack and Michelle Obama are one of the most revered and admired political couples of all time. However, there are a few things that even they disagree on-Parenting their daughters.
No matter how well gelled and adjusted a couple might be, sometimes, they may clash heads on the way they prefer to parent their children. One such example is Obama’s. In a recent episode of her podcast, The Light Podcast, Michelle Obama spoke candidly about the difference in the parenting style of her and her husband.
The difference she talked about was as simple as how to soothe their crying infant daughter. The story might seem simple, but it has resonated with parents everywhere. It also offers a rare glimpse into the family dynamics of the former first couple.
Michelle Obama has previously spoken about how having kids can test one’s marriage and bring the other issues to the forefront. During the episode, she again discussed how exhausting early parenthood was. She also talked about how it tested both her patience and her relationship with Barack.
She specifically called out his decision to use the “cry-it-out” method on their daughter. This method is also called the Ferber method, where a child is left to cry for some time before parents go and soothe them. This would help babies learn to soothe themselves so they fall asleep on their own.
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Apparently, Barack wanted to use this method on Sasha.
But Michelle wasn’t sold on the idea. She admitted that she only agreed to try the method after an intense discussion with her husband. And yet, she did not hide her doubts and skepticism. “Barack was just like, ‘Let her cry,'” Michelle recalled. She also talked about her discomfort of hearing her child cry in her crib, while as a parent she was supposed to stay aside.
Many parents could relate to this moment. Especially the first-time mothers who are still navigating being a mother through advice and instinct, all the while battling their exhaustion and sleep deprivation.
While people pointed out that she publicly threw shade at Barack, some are of the opinion that it is just a mother’s instinct. The way a mother’s body changes, those effects are not felt by the father, and that’s why maternal and paternal instincts differ so much.
Her words also carried the quiet frustration of a mother navigating new motherhood. Especially when she feels unsupported and everyone seems to be against her. In comparison, her instincts are to protect her child from everyone.
This incident also reflected a broader theme of how women often shoulder most of the emotional and physical weight of parenting.
“I knew when she was truly crying and when she was just complaining,” Michelle said, emphasizing a mother’s intuition. It was her way of reminding Barack Obama and perhaps listeners that parenting isn’t just about following methods or books. But about listening to your child and trusting your gut.
In the end, Michelle and Barack found their rhythm as parents. Their daughters, Malia and Sasha, have grown up to be thoughtful and poised young women. But the road wasn’t without bumps, and Michelle’s willingness to speak about them with honesty and humor only adds to her legacy of authenticity and strength.
